Blooming Blog

Soul & Ego: This Human Trip

February 18th, 2010

What is this human earth-trip about, anyway? I found myself saying to a client today: We are souls on earth, here to unfold our potential from within. And we have no idea what that potential is.

What are we to do?

First we need to turn the spotlight of our attention inward, where that potential resides. We need to invite it to grow brighter and reveal its light and nature to us. We need to listen inwardly, so that we hear its impulse to act and express, hear and feel its messages to us, and sense its reality. It is subtle, it is quiet; it takes careful, attuned listening. We need to make a space for this in our lives.

We also need to gradually dissolve the rigid walls formed by the structures of our ego, that keep us caught in believing we are less than our true potential. When those barriers are reduced, our soul can become more free to flow and express itself, in the way that it alone chooses.

I sometimes think of this free-flowing soul-nature as colors, or music, or as a particular fragrance that carries your personal signature. Or I think of it as movement flowing in never-repeating forms and patterns you alone create. You can think of it as sculpted patterns of light and energy, intricate functions you perform in concert with others, supplying your special element that is needed to help complete the whole and move it forward.

That and more is your soul’s potential; contained within it is every quality and capacity, in combinations unique to you, to be expressed through physical and non-physical means. How it will manifest is unknown until it starts to unfold, and even then is a continual revelation and surprise.

Opposed to this fluidity and aliveness are the dense ego structures, where the fluidity of our soul gets caught in frozen, rigidified, paralyzing rituals of suffering and tedium. They are entirely predictable, hold us spellbound by their dramas of pain and blame, yet are ultimately boring and deadening, compared to the aliveness and delicacy of the soul’s potential. Drug-like, they stimulate but also put us to sleep. They are the soul’s sleep.

Through the channels of the ego structures, the substance of the soul moves, but only in predictable, circumscribed patterns, repetitiously, over and over; like a tiger imprisoned in a cage, endlessly circling, instead of with the spontaneous powerful freedom it was born for.

It is the same life force, the same essential substance of self, but imprisoned by structures built of impressions, memories, woundings, images, thoughts, feelings, concepts, fears, beliefs, expectations, and attempts at protection. And yet, within is always the potential to flow freely, without restriction, and to release into the world that true elixir which is uniquely yours to express and give.

The work of development, of liberating our potential, must follow a double path.

One path leads within, to connect with, invite, and encourage the energies of our soul; to become more present to them, allowing them to become magnified and to manifest more fully in our consciousness and our life.

The other path allows us to step back from our ego patterns, to separate, so we can observe, understand, and through skillful means, start to dissolve them. We need to cultivate enough witness awareness and knowledge to do this.

Gradually, following this double path, we will notice the structured,  habitual self, the one we have come to call “I,” loosening its grip, until finally it no longer holds captive the true, luminous, infinite I whose life we have been waiting to live.

Money & Soul – the journey begins

February 17th, 2010

I’m about to launch a personal project that I expect may be of interest to quite a few out there: I’m planning to tackle my money issues – in public!

I have decided to use my life as a living laboratory. I want to credit Molly Gordon (author of The Accidental Entrepreneur) for expressing this concept in a recent interview with Isabel Parlett (the “Soundbite Shaman”). Molly said she decided to be transparent about areas of her life where she might have felt shame or defensiveness, and that made for rich learning and teaching for herself and her clients and followers. I felt relief when I heard her say this, of not having to pretend to “have it all together.” The idea of someone in public modellng being honest, vulnerable, and human seemed both courageous and healing.

So in the interests of Science, in the spirit of curiosity and experimentation, and with whatever degree of transparency I am able to muster, I am embarking on an exploration of this biggest bugaboo of my life.

I, like so many others, have deeply-ingrained, semi-conscious or unconscious limiting beliefs and self-images having to do with money, that have restricted my earning capacity and held me back from playing a bigger role in the world – until now.

Now, through much personal transformation,  in my middle years, I am moving to the next level of my career, ambition, and creative expression. I am ready to play a bigger game, step up, take risks, be visible, and make a difference.

Yet I can feel these limiting money beliefs and self-images sticking in me, pulling at me, tripping  me.  I realize they will continue to trip me and keep me from reaching my full potential unless I confront them directly. And not just my earning potential, but how many people I can help,  how much difference I can make in the world, everything I want to do and be.

Several years ago, when I entered the coaching profession, I looked online for coach trainings and noticed that most devoted a significant chunk of their curriculum to marketing. As a “good” spiritual helper/healer type, who had always shied away from anything resembling tooting my own horn, I at first recoiled. But I did a quick double-take, saying to myself “Oh, that’s why I’ve never succeeded! (Duh!)”

I then and there recognized that learning to promote myself was my next soul-task, and I vowed to devote myself to it in the spirit of fun and play. When I learned that Internet marketing included writing and speaking – two of the things I most wanted to do – I knew I was in the right place!

I have spent the last few years happily immersed in learning many creative techniques for marketing using the Internet. And although there are still lots of challenges for me there, I have a new comfort-zone where it comes to promoting my products and services.

So now I have a new soul-task that I am ready to commit to – an even higher hurdle: my money issues!

Stay tuned and watch this blog for what I hope will be many future installments of this bracing adventure.

Do you have to sell your car?

February 17th, 2010

help3d_white_noreflectionI’m very excited to let everyone know that my good friend, L.James Johnson, has just published an e-book, “HELP! I Gotta Sell My Car NOW!: New Rules for Selling Your Vehicle Online.”

This subject may seem far from the themes of this blog. But there are three reasons why I’m letting you know about it.

1) I am mentioned in the acknowledgements as his marketing consultant! Having steeped myself in Internet marketing for a couple of years, I was able to help him get his legs in that world (and now he teaches me things, especially about technology).

2) James is a bona fide late bloomer. He wrote this book when he was 57, after a circuitous and interesting career path.

3) Some of you may be in the position of having to sell your own car!

If you check out his website, BayAreaCarGuy.com, you will find lots of resources, including some wonderful personalized services for those overwhelmed or intimidated by the prospect of car-buying or car-selling.

By the way, James is just about the sweetest man I know – he’s an automotive genius with an amazing heart and spirit. If anyone can transform the stereotype of used car salesman, it’s James. (I dubbed him The Expert Who Gives Used Car Salesmen a Good Name.)

And I’ve never even owned a car! (I belong to that rare breed: native New Yorkers who don’t drive!)

Inspiration: Is the Sun Shining at Your Feet?

December 23rd, 2009

Sun in sand, receding surf

Have you ever been surprised to look down and see the sun shining at your feet?

That happened to me recently walking barefoot on the beach in California.

How mysterious, that luminous orb floating on the wet sand. Not what we expect; it reverses our expectation. It seems to open the ground into another space that we didn’t know was there; a magical light.

Why do we always look up for what we think is great? Is it because the sun shines down on us from the sky that we tend to project our source of inspiration as coming from above us?

Whether it’s a spiritual source (in “heaven”), an authority figure we place on a pedestal, or a role model whose example seems unattainable, we are always reaching upward for the good, for our goal, for our blessing. Noble and admirable though our ideals may be, we set ourselves up for continually feeling “less than” by insisting on looking to a source of inspiration beyond our grasp.

We look for the sacred, the divine, way beyond ourselves where we can never reach it, so we think it can never be part of us. We separate heaven and earth and keep ourselves walled off from what we love and long for.

If it’s that wonderful, it couldn’t possibly be me!

What if the sun were shining at our feet? Would we even see it there? Whether that glow comes from a true source or a reflected light, the luminosity is right at hand, or at foot – and within our reach. Look down at your feet and behold! Soon you may perceive the radiance in every leaf, twig, and grain of sand. Perhaps even in yourself!

Overcomers, Inc. is published!

October 23rd, 2009

C1_OvercomersIncbooksmWhat an exciting day Thursday was! Our long-awaited book, Overcomers, Inc.: True Stories of Hope, Courage, and Inspiration was launched, was celebrated, and went to #1 on Amazon in three categories.

I’ve never been part of a book launch before, and this is my first time published. I feel extremely fortunate to have found my way to this magical  book and I’m proud to be associated with a product of such quality and power.

When I decided to participate, I initially felt vulnerable about sharing my story, but I knew I had to do it. The first part of this remarkable journey for me involved figuring out how to express what I wanted to communicate, how to craft it into a form, and how to compress it into a few pages. That in itself was a rich, complex, and growthful experience and would have been enough of a reward.

But then, after months of anticipation and wondering, I received a copy of this beautiful book and got to experience the real reward: discovering the amazing group of human beings I’d been traveling alongside.

I was truly blown away when I read the 38 stories of ordinary  people demonstrating, in many cases, jaw-dropping courage, perseverance, hope, vision, and immense heart and spirit, as they overcame a wide range of challenges. Some stories will feel familiar, something we can all relate to.  Others tell the kinds of extreme dramas movies are based on. I was amazed, moved, inspired, and honored to be in their company.

Here are three excerpts from the book, starting with my own, to give you a taste of what’s in store for you if you decide to get the book. (This book is so inspirational, you’ll probably decide to give it to many of your friends.)

And here’s where you can go right now to read much more about it and to purchase it for yourself:

http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch

Growing Up After Fifty: It’s Never Too Late to Bloom

Tomar Levine

Delayed Adulthood

Several factors contributed to my delayed adulthood. Being an artist, single and childless, I bypassed the rites of passage and responsibilities of most adults. My Depression-era parents’ version of responsibility made adulthood look unappealing anyway. Looking young, acting young, thinking and feeling young helped create the illusion that time was barely passing, and aging did not apply to me. Finally, having a small amount of family money – enough to barely get by on – was a double-edged sword. On the one hand it allowed me to paint, write, read, and pursue the spiritual studies I was drawn to. On the other, not having to earn much income allowed me to act out my insecurities by rejecting ambition, not taking risks, and living a far smaller, more protected life than another part of me longed for.

Hiding my light under a bushel was never my plan. I wanted to be a recognized artist. Hiding one’s light is simply what happens when fear is stronger than the desire to have one’s light seen and to add value to the world. I exhibited my art for years, maintaining a miniscule career that reflected my comfort zone. But when I discovered a spiritual calling, the heat was turned up on my inner conflict and my suffering intensified!

Now it was not just for my own glory, but for something greater that I wanted my light to shine. I knew I had something to share that filled me and could inspire others – if only I could find the form. I searched for my true work the way others seek true love. Many times I thought I’d found it, yet I continued to fear risk and rejection even more than I yearned to be of service. I remained a perpetual student long after I should have been teaching, as I waited to be invited to take my place onstage. Like a corked volcano, I was full of blocked energy. I tried to convince myself that being invisible was more spiritual than releasing my life force, but secretly I felt shame. I feared I would waste my life and the gifts I had been given.

When Grace Comes to Get You

Barbara McCollough

How can I explain this moment when inspiration broke through in the form of the poem and led me from paralysis into action?

I can’t. Or not in ways the linear mind can report. A teacher once told me that the path to a fulfilling life was like the flight of a two winged bird: one wing was self-effort and the other grace. Without both, a bird won’t fly and neither will our lives. Dogged adherence to effort can take you right into a place you don’t even want to go, yet simply waiting for inspiration without accompanying action leads to paralysis (insightful paralysis perhaps, but still paralysis). It is the true partnership of self-effort and grace—inspired action – that is the secret to success.

If I were to frame my experience as overcoming an obstacle, perhaps what I overcame was a tendency to let my ego do the driving. I opened myself to that mysterious other force that we all know and describe in our own unique way, that we can never control, but we can always depend upon.

On your path to fulfillment, you don’t have to row upstream, and you don’t have to get in the boat alone.

Decide and Go Seek: Overcoming Life’s Chronic Little Challenges to Let Your Purpose Shine Through

Julio Blanco

I’m amazed looking back because my life is so different now. Today I enjoy purpose-filled days in a business of my own that enables me to help others create purpose-filled lives through their own conscious businesses. I don’t even feel like I work anymore, really, because what I’ve chosen to do with my time feels more like play.

My journey taught me that God will work perfectly in our lives if you bring but one grace to the table: desire. The journey required traveling a rocky road filled with my own fears and doubts to arrive at clarity about how I wanted to live, but my desire carried me through until I was able to embrace my true life and make an unshakable commitment to living it. From there it was a matter of mustering the courage to jump in with full faith that Spirit would be there to catch me.

I also came to know that if you crave your best life, your purpose will seek you. At times we might be too busy, afraid, or distracted with the rest of life to hear our purpose calling. But if you show just an ounce of desire to live that purpose, the Universe will work like water to wither away the stone of whatever stands between you and its fulfillment.

Are Your Creative Projects Stalled?

October 19th, 2009

Is the manuscript of your work-in-progress buried in a desk drawer that you rarely open? Is a half-finished quilt stuffed in your closet, with all the pieces waiting for your return? Do you have unfinished poems, a partial scrapbook, collage materials, old watercolor sets, or perhaps one or two musical instruments stashed away somewhere that you rarely, if ever, glance at anymore? And what about your jewelry-making that everyone encouraged you in, or that sculpture class you took, or your desire to learn more about your digital camera so your photos would be as great as your brother-in-law’s?

You may be avoiding looking at your abandoned creative projects, but when you do accidentally bump into them, do they look back at you reproachfully? And do you feel that pang? Do you cringe and slink away?

If so, there is hope! I am offering a Creativity Support Group for people just like you – people who would love to get back into their creative work, but can’t find the way.

Diving In: Reclaiming the Joy of Your Creative Life is just what you need to help you challenge the negative beliefs, myths, fears, and habits that are keeping you stuck, as well as to find the time and space you need, which will miraculously appear with the help of the group.

Click here to go to the page with all the information and the cool pictures to inspire you.

This will be fun!!! If I’m describing you, then you really shouldn’t miss this opportunity!

Finding One’s True Work After Fifty

September 1st, 2009

Swan Flying med

On Being a Late Bloomer

I’m a late bloomer. It sometimes seems I’ve lived my life backwards. I like to say I took an early retirement (minimal employment and lots of leisure), and now that I’m of retirement age, I’m fired up and cracking to start working.

I mean really working, working at my true work, the work I was meant to do.

What took me so long? Well, for one thing, any original work that blends multiple gifts, life experience, and acquired wisdom, must take time to ripen. It’s not available to young sprouts or saplings, but only comes to fruit on a mature tree.

In addition, there are no role models or career counselors to point us in the direction of our unique work. So I had to wait to evolve and develop before I was ready to discover it for myself.

In Order to Go Forward I Had to Let Things Go

But there were other things that stood in my way as well. I had to stop letting myself be stopped by my self-doubts, insecurities, and fears, by my shyness and introversion, and my fear of competing. I had to give up the fantasy that someone would discover me and, leading me by the hand, present me to the world. (In other words, I had to stop waiting to be rescued.) I had to learn to assert myself, to ask for the attention I want, and the help I need. And I had to notice my tendency to compare myself to others, always finding myself lacking – and challenge that persistent habit.

Another thing I had to question was my resentment. For a long time part of me has been on sit-down strike out of bitterness at not having my “greatness” recognized. I had to stop demanding the perfect conditions before I would fully show up, stop withholding myself from the world until all my requirements were met. For instance, I had to stop waiting for the world to make reparations for my childhood, stop waiting for my childhood tormentors to come, individually and as a group, kneel down before me, and beg for forgiveness. I had to stop waiting for all my wounds to be healed, stop expecting to become the improved, competent, resilient person I thought I needed to be (the life of the party, super-organized and great at self-promotion). And I had to stop waiting for my inner critic to lavish me with praise and tell me I was ready.

It’s Now or Never

I had to recognize my unique, mortal life and decide not to waste it -  no matter how unready I felt, no matter how many courses, trainings, and advanced degrees I thought I might still need, to put the finishing touches on my masterpiece of self. Ready or not – age 50 plus – I had to decide to jump. I had to decide that this time, no matter how scared I was, I wouldn’t give up.

Mainly, I had to decide that the ache in my soul I’d felt for as long as I could remember, the urge to bring something forth, the longing to express, to create, and to let my light shine, could be put off no longer. The pregnancy of my soul was way overdue.

I had to take seriously that urge of my soul and not keep putting it off until after I’d finished answering my email, doing the laundry, or googling the latest creative genius, especially the one who had just died, acclaimed by the world.

And I had to stop playing eeny-meeny-miney-mo with all the possible directions I could imagine exploring in my remaining time on earth. I had to stop calculating the most practical steps, the most lucrative careers, the roles most favored and approved by my friends and peer group, or sanctioned by society.

I’m Not a Bad Duck

I had to stop trying to fit into someone else’s idea, stop trying to conform and be a good duck. Ever the ugly duckling, I’ve tried again and again to be a better duck – and failed. In studying any new field, attempting to model myself after those who set the standard, I’ve been “inducted” again and again into the trance of duck-dom, trying to imitate what I saw rather than following my own inner sense. It was time for me to acknowledge that I wasn’t meant to be a duck, that I wasn’t actually a bad duck at all, but a bird of a different feather! All I have to do is pay attention to myself, look inward instead of out for my direction.

I had to acknowledge that no matter how many paths not taken I might mourn on my deathbed, none could possibly match the grief I would feel if I were to die without ever having followed my own path, without having taken the risk of following my own soul’s star wherever it might lead. Whether it led to a barren desert or the flowing waters of Eden I would never know if I didn’t take that chance.

So, at age fifty-plus, I have decided it is not too late to grow up, to bear fruit, to take the risks I’ve feared, to be a swan and take flight. Fortunately, the soul is not subject to the same limits as the body. The soul can stay pregnant for a lifetime and yet give birth to a vibrant child – so long as there is time. The work we are born to do, the true work that is ours alone, and which the world will never have if we do not do it – that potential stays as fresh in our souls as the seeds buried in Egyptian tombs that saw daylight and sprouted after thousands of years. Fortunately, we do not have to wait quite that long. We only have to wait as long as it takes us to say, “I am waiting no more.”

How about You?

And you, dear reader: Have you ever struggled with trying to be a better duck, but just couldn’t make a go of it? Did you ever realize you didn’t want to be a duck after all? That duck-dom was not what you were born for, not your true calling?

And now how is it for you? Do you ever feel that your soul is pregnant with something you are waiting to give birth to? And if so, how long do you want to wait? How long will you wait? Does it feel about due?  Would you care to join me and walk into the birthing waters together?

Welcome to Blooming Blog

May 27th, 2009

Welcome to the Blooming Blog. Here I will have various things to say about late blooming, overcomers and overcoming, midlife re-visioning, listening to and answering the call of one’s soul, creativity, spirituality, and more. And Lotus the 3-Legged Cat may also have a few comments from time to time.

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